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Grace for a divorce???
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My husband is emotionally abusive and blames me for EVERTHING that goes wrong. When we got married he was on fire for God but of course he had been saved for about 1 year. He goes to church but THAT IS IT. He refuses to pray with me, for me, for our finances, anything at all. He never answeres any altar calls for prayer at church even when we both know it is directly connected to what we are walking through at the time. I go by myself to the altar and when I ask him if he wants to go with me, he says no, for what??? He doesnt read his bible, wont go in for counseling because he says he isnt going to sit there and be "judged". I cannot keep living like this. I have been praying for God to change me for 2 years now. I have grown, he hasnt. He has actually drifted further away from God. Has become big time obsessed with video gaming, sci fi movies etc, and thinks that I am "controling" because I wont let the kids watch R rated movies. He demonizes me to the kids when he is angry at me trying to make them think bad of me when in reality, they are tired of it and I can see the ripping in their hearts. I cant handle the emotional abuse on me and the kids any longer. Where does grace cross the line with being a doormat? Could I divorce?
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First let me tell you about me, I have a dad who had a drinking problem, he used to beat my mother for no reason, I was really young, time passed my mother prayed, he changed. But little did I know that he only stopped it because of probation and fear of deportation. I found out that out when he started again, I am much older now. I am disgusted with his drinking, but I refuse to yell at him, nor lay one finger on him, and my mom hates what he's doing but she is still by his side. Although I feel angry at myself, I still don't think divorce between them is good. For my comforts my dad, when he comes home drunk and takes care of him, and in the morning yells at him for drinking. It says in the Bible, only divorce if there is adultery, and so I will try to follow the Bible word's because the are the word's of the true and only living God, for he knows much better than all of us combined. Keep praying, Christians need patience, for there is a time to cry and a time to laugh. The Lord God is sooooo good, please seek him.
Zukeon it sounds like your mother is not living in that marriage, it sounds like she is taking the role of the enabler in an alcoholics life and I think that that makes God very sad. I have strong doubts that God would allow adultery to be the only grounds for divorce, in fact I have read other answers that say an unbelieving spouse that departs from the marriage is grounds too. Why should your dad change if he has your mom taking care of him all the time? The bible also says that drunks will not enter the kingdom, if your dad is a repeated drunk and not receiving help...there are earthly consequences for these actions as well, and a failed marriage is one of them. These are very tough questions to answer and I do not believe that it is as clear cut as only adultery. If it would be a sin to divorce but to live a lie would also be a sin?? Our patience is only so long and we do not have the vantage point of God. Our children watch their parents relationships and may model after them, the damage that is done in an alcoholic home is deep (your dad was beating your mom!! did you ever witness that as a child? women can be killed from domestic abuse...til death do you part I guess)!! I know of Christians waiting in separations for years to see if change will come, if a miracle will be provided for them and their marriage only to find that they don't change. As individuals we have to walk this life out, if your mother feels that it is her calling to stay and she feels God is blessing that then that's her walk. My pastoral councillor won't say that it is a sin one way or another, but that he supports the individual making these tough decisions. God will sort it all out in the end, and he has compassion. Jesus loves the little children...it makes me cry to think of the stories I know break his heart, the things that children are subjected to, and if these are "evil things done in the name of God" then lord have mercy on our souls
This is such a very hard idea to understand.
A spouse who is sexually immoral... ( Adultery is the term that is
most often mentioned.)
Or being unequally yoked ( As in being married to an un- believer)
Are the only two that I have ever heard of that are approved of in the Bible
for divorce.... AND being permitted to re-marry.
There are even passages that state if you are married to a non-believer and that one wants you to remain married that you are to stay married.
I do believe that if a marital life has become unbearable that divorce could be permitted, but only with the idea that you do not re-marry.
I have a very hard problem with why God would want you to stay married to a person who physically abused you. To live your live covered in bruises and with the occasional broken bone because that person wants you to stay together makes it seem to me like there is something wrong somewhere.
Verbal abuse is equally as bad, and it has been said that you must stay married to someone who verbally abused you. That just seems wrong.
And what about child abuse. I am speaking of both verbal as well as physical child abuse, ( not sexual... which would fall under the adultery end).
Does God truly want us to remain married in these circumstances?
And if not, would God condemn us who might re-marry after leaving such a situation?
If God wants us to stay in a marriage that is an abusive one, is there anyone here that can suggest a reason as to why?