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how can i go to church again?
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i am angry and bitter.the events that has happened in my church and in life has led to feel this way.some of it my fault,some not.how can go back when i am rememinded of these conflicks .the fact is, i left the church because of this.the church is far, but is does not seem worth going.why should i, when i go i am reminded of what has happened,and am afraid of what will happen next.i do not always feel love in this church and supposedly its very popular.mind you there are a few who do care about me.but the fact was in that church there was always conflict. and because of one situation i hurt a freind.the reality is i have to forgive plain and simple.and have to to seek forgiveness aswell.but my trust to go to another church is shaken, how do i deal with this.
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First of all our obligation is to God and not to the church. If you feel awkward about returning to that specific church, then find another church to attend. If that is the only church around, then my suggestion would be to take the time you would have spent in church listening to the word, and dedicate that time to God. Sit read the word and be in prayer.
Church is a place where we fellowship with other believers and we can lift eachother up with hope, but if this thing that happened at church will bring conflict in your spiritual life, then you need to find a way to still spend that time with God.
However, if anyone has offended you or visa versa, first ask God to forgive you then ask for forgiveness to those whom you offended and even to those you didn't. That is the only way your spirit will become free of the burden you are apparently carrying.
Once that is done, when you are spending time alone with God, ask Him to restore your spirit, heart, and soul to a point where you can begin to attend church without feeling any animosity or remorse towards anyone.