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I need answers about my relationship with my girlfriend?
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Hi
I have a problem. Me and my girlfriend have been very happy for the last 8 months. I met her at a friend's house and started chatting for about a month before we went on any dates. I asked God to please not let anything happen if she is not to be my wife as I have learned my lesson in the past.
I was very scared at first and questioned the relationship a lot. She almost broke up with me and I realised that I must stop questioning because I already had the go ahead so who am I to question God.
It went very well or lets say it was awesome. We had such a good time. She made me laugh and I made her laugh.
The I started feeling weird. There attraction towards me started to fade and we started to develop problems. The more she want some space the more needy I would get. I started to become a big problem and the trust I had in her also faded. So I questioned everything she did. I started working on that but the "needy" never went away. I wanted to see her the whole day everyday.
I started phoning her 24 / 7 and started giving her my everything. And did absolutely nothing for myself.
About a week ago she could not do it anymore and broke up with me. I was blinded by something and we only saw the problem a day after we broke up. I feel this is unfair as I did not know this. I thought that I needed her more and the more I needed her the more she needed time. But it was the opposite. I started this and I know this now. If I only knew sooner.
She is now very confused and do not know if Im the man she wants to marry anymore. But she was sure. For 8 of the 9 months.
I do not know what to do as she keeps on saying she needs time to make her decision. I know that and I'm giving it to her. As much as she wants.
I do not like to play games as this is not the way to get someone back or to get someone in the first place.
She suggested we be friends up untill she found her answer and made up her mind.
One of my friends said to me that she thinks I need the time more than her to get myself back and that maybe this is God calling me to be a man. Be my own person and dependent only on Him. Then only will this work.
Please help me as I do not know what to do. I do not want to question God and His plan so why would this thn happen?
Jurie Human
South Africa
Bible Answers to this Question
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Community Answers
If I am understanding correctly you two engaged in premarital sex.
I know you thought you got the "go ahead" from God but you didn't.
The Bible is pretty clear about not doing it until you are married.The Bible is God's word and is what God said.
You sound young,you'll live through this and be o.k. What you are experiencing is simply the consiquence of sin,it won't kill you- this time.
Just learn(again).But this time really LEARN.Wait for your wife.And wait until you are married to her.She'll be along,I promise.
Go ahead and forget about this girl.You don't want her anyway,she puts out before marriage,you don't want a girl like that.
People change. Praise God that He never does.
Be strong and focus on God. He has another plan for you. Sometimes God calls us to something but we don't listen. We think we're doing what He wants but it's not. All we're doing is hurt Him more and more. For that, we pay the consequence. I know what you're going through and I encourage you to cling to God and hold on to Him.
I know what you're thinking; "but I was so close to God while I was with this girl". David was king of Israel when he slept with Bathsheba. Abraham was following God's will but then he lied about his wife saying she was his sister. Peter was probably the only one who had followed Christ so closely when he denied Christ 3 times.
Don't look at yourself and say, "But I was so good" or "I was so close". Pray. See what God wants now. I know it's hard to see why something like this would happen. I know that while the pain is there nothing makes sense.
All I can tell you is this, Jeremiah's life was crushed and ruined and everywhere he turned he was rejected. You said that you have friends, well Jeremiah didn't; but he served the Lord. Stop focusing so much on the hills, your help doesn't comes from them but from what's beyond them.
"I lift my eyes unto the hills; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth!" Psalm 121:1
I'm praying for you. May God strengthen you!