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Why do I feel guilty after a heavy makeout session with my fiancee
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My fiancee and I have a seven year history.We did have sex in the past B.C.That was almost two years ago.
Now we are engaged(we're both 40 years old)and looking forward to relations again in the future,after we're married.
In the meantime there have been occasions when the making out gets pretty heavy,we don't touch each other inappropriatly or anything and the clothes stay completely on.But he will start "humping " me and inevitably he'll end up in the restroom to take care of business.
While he's gone of course I have business of my own to attend to.
So when it's all over and the hormones subside I get overcome with a guilty feeling even though we didn't do anything.
Why do I feel guilty when I'm innocent?Am I guilty of something?
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We are told to refrain from sexual immorality in Ephesians 5:3. This includes anything sexual, and heavy kissing (making out) is basically foreplay, meaning it's designed to get people ready for sex. This is evident also in the fact that you said he will start "humping" you and finish up in the bathroom. So, what you are feeling is actually correct. That is the Holy Spirit telling you that your innocent make out sessions can lead to more if you are not careful. Most Christians that I know of will recommend only light kissing, but even that is too much for some people. It depends on how well you can handle yourself.
Thank you that helps some.I wish I had something more definative, but what you said does help☺
My dear friend, your feelings of guilt seem to be coming from a live conscience. One that is telling you what you're doing is questionable and, perhaps, not right.
I would like to further emphasize on that and say that you should listen to that guilty feeling. You are a very brave woman to confess to this and ask for help so I commend you for doing so and encourage you not to be afraid but know that, as brothers and sisters, we are here to help one another and build each other up.
This is a struggle that every woman, man, girl, and boy pass through. One which, I'd like to add, is not just a phase. The struggle of the need of physical attraction and satisfaction is one that is in every heart. Paul, in his letter to Timothy, instructs him to "flee youthful lusts". Timothy was in his 30s at that time, as theologians have estimated. You and I both know that 30 is not youth. What Paul is emphasizing is that these "youthful lusts" that we have come to call "Teenage urges" are found in everyone. You love your fiancé and may I congratulate you on getting engaged. The only relation of physical love that is ever mention in the Bible is between a man and his wife. Personally, I don't believe the Bible is ONLY talking about sex.
I would recommend you refrain from any physical contact, especially if it's leading you to these urges. Masturbation and any form of sexual desires is ungodly. I'd hate to sound so cynical but it's true. Don't think I am a perfect and un-tempt-able human being. I'm just as tempt-able as you are [I don't even know if that's a correct word]. I have struggled and I still struggle with this same issue but I have learnt to pray whenever I am tempted. I have learnt to let go of whatever it is that tempts me to fall, and rather fall on my knees begging God to help me overcome.
Paul says in Romans, I believe it is, that what he wants to do he doesn't do and what he hates doing, that is the exact thing he does. "Wretched man that I am, who shall save me from this body of death? Praise be to God through Christ Jesus!" Christ will give us the victory.
Are you feeling guilty? That's the Holy Spirit speaking to you. Don't shut Him out. I know it's tempting. I know it feels good. I know you enjoy it. My dear sister, is it worth it really if it keeps you from being truly Holy for God? He calls us to be Holy just as He is Holy.
In fact, and I'll end with this, when Paul instructs Timothy to flee youthful lusts, the Greek word actually means to drop everything and run as though from a fire. To let go of whatever it is and just run for your life! Lusts are a flame. Urges are just like a fire. The instruction is to RUN! FLEE!