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My sister and husband are pastors at their church and schools they own. My mom who had a stroke has moved to live with them. I question the Christian behaviour they are extending to her
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My mom had a stoke, moved home to stay with my sister and hubby (pastors in their church). They assured us living on the otjher side of the world she would have a nurse (carer), physio and be trested for her diabetes daily. None of this is happening. They ignore my mom, hardly talking to her. She has been shoved in the deepend, told to get her independance back and that the church comes first, their son second and whatever follows is what follows. My mom was very upset when I phoned her yesterday having had four falls to date. My sister is friendly to everyone in the church and when my mom asks for help she sarcastically says: Practice practice prctice to my mom. She is very cold and not caring and I wonder if their church members are aware of what she is doing to her own mother. How do I as a believer deal with his without offending her or be seen to be as interfering. My mom is too scared to speak up, because already they are all three being very cool to her. They made the offer, but treat my mom indifferently. Another concern is mom is not thru the woods yet and they leave her alone for hours which is a risk for a recent stroke victim (4 months ago) Mom is gaining use of her right side but is not as able as she should be. Please advise as this is sistressing me here in OZ and my family are in South Africa.
God blesss, Mish
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This is sad to hear, but unfortunately not even pastors are exempt from sin. I can understand their priorities to a certain extent (God -> spouses -> children -> other family) but what they seem to be doing is totally neglecting your mother. It seems as though they are being "righteous" as we are told to be (by putting God first); however, they seemed to have forgotten that we as Christians are also supposed to love one another.
They should remember the golden rule stated in Luke 6:31, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Would they like someone to neglect them like that? Probably not. Sometimes people need to think about how they would feel in someone else's shoes before they can truly understand.
Dear Storm
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my question. Luke 6:31 is exactly the sentiment we share. How do we approach the situation without ruffling feathers, so that my mom's situation can improve? She packed up her whole home, moved to another province (state) 1500 kilometres away to stay with my sister in their new home (at their invitation to do so)and I heard on Sunday that she is as miserable as anything. We are on the other side of the world on a sponsored contract, so our situation makes it difficult to get her here full time.What would you do in this situation?
God bless, Mish
Well, if I were in your shoes I would tell your sister as clearly (and calmly) as possible. I know that is easier said than done, but it needs to be done (in my opinion).
Since we both agree with the verse Luke 6:31, I would also bring that up and emphasize that verse in your talk with your sister. There is no better "wake-up call" than that of scripture. If she won't try and put herself in your mother's shoes, then that verse is the only thing I can think of that will snap her back into reality.