Forgiveness is not something that is easy to do for most Christians. It is especially difficult for Christians to offer forgiveness when the offender is not a close person and the offense was serious. But Christians are commanded in the Bible by Jesus to offer forgiveness to each other, just as they expect God to do the same for them. The Bible has so much to say about forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV), Jesus tells His listeners to be prudent in this matter of forgiveness so as not to jeopardize the forgiveness they will receive from God when they sin.
Christians can have their prayers hindered if they do not practice forgiveness. Jesus gives us a model of how to pray in what we know as the Lord's Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV). Verse 12 of the Lord's Prayer says we are to ask God's forgiveness just as we have already forgiven others. In other words, the believer extends forgiveness to others before asking it of God. By not following this model of forgiving others first, it's unlikely that your prayers will be answered. Proverbs 28:9 (NIV) says that if anyone refuses to listen to God's instruction that this person's prayers are detestable. Of course God's instruction includes extending forgiveness to others. Mark 11:25 (NIV) also says that if you hold something against anyone when praying that you are to forgive that person so that your sins will be forgiven.
The Bible tells us to offer forgiveness while being patient. It says in Colossians 3:13 (NIV) that we are to bear with each other, meaning to be patient. This passage also says that as we are patient, we combine our patience with forgiveness. Patience is another difficult characteristic to develop and practice; and just like forgiveness, it does not come natural.
Forgiveness is something Christians must do repeatedly. Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) tells us that the believer must forgive a brother who trespasses 77 times. The important point is not the number of times forgiveness must be extended but instead the reality that Christians must do it frequently for the remainder of their earthly lives.
What if the other person will not give you forgiveness? You cannot force another person to grant you forgiveness if you have wronged them. The Bible verses on forgiveness all state that you are to examine your own heart and forgive the other person first. If you have wronged someone and expressed your sorrow, or compensated for damages, then you've done all you can do. If the other person is a believer, then he or she has the same responsibility to forgive; but it is purely a matter between this person and God.
Forgiveness among Christians does not always restore trust. Christians mistakenly think that forgiveness and trust are the same but they are not. Remember that trust is something that you earn by doing what you say. On the other hand, forgiveness means that you are releasing the other person and choosing not to retaliate or “pay back” him or her. We are only told as Christians to trust God but not necessarily others. Trust can only be built after the untrustworthy person establishes a track record of appropriate behavior. For example, in Genesis 50:15-21 (NIV), the Bible tells us how Joseph restored a relationship with his brothers who had sold him years before into slavery. Joseph probably forgave his brothers many years earlier, but now he was ready to restore a relationship with them after he saw their repentance and after he realized that the entire ordeal was meant by God for good.
