10 Ways to Prevent Adultery In a Christian Marriage

"You shall not commit adultery" - Exodus 20:14 (NIV). If we Christians were robots that had no free will, then the above Bible verse would be a simple command to follow. Unfortunately, since we do have the free will to make certain choices, we tend to make very stupid and foolish decisions -- one of those being the act of adultery. Why can't husbands just love their own wives and wives love their own husbands? In a perfect world that would be true. However, in this fallen and sinful world, this is not always true. Read on to discover how to prevent adultery in your marriage.

1. Communicate - Pour some cold water on your spouse to let your presence be known.

Ok, you don't really have to pour water on them. The point is that you need to let your spouse know you mean serious business when you are trying to communicate with them. Do you ever think that your spouse should "just know" what's on your mind? Don't do this! Don't assume that your spouse knows what is troubling you or your marriage. Let them know directly with words, text, sign language (for those that may be deaf), or any other method of direct communication.

2. Run from Temptation - Run like you are trying to win the 100-Meter Dash at the Olympics.

Flee from Temptation - We are told many times in the Bible to run away from things that cause us to sin: 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV); 1 Corinthians 10:14 (NIV); 1 Timothy 6:11 (NIV); and 2 Timothy 2:22 (NIV). Is there someone, besides your spouse, that you find attractive? Do you find yourself thinking lustful thoughts about them in your mind? Do yourself a favor and run away as quickly as you can!  Even if you could handle it, why take the risk? 

Let's look at a little example: Imagine that there is a man named Bill that has a wife named Hillary. Bill is walking in the park, minding his own business, when all of a sudden a woman he finds attractive and has lustful thoughts on an ordinary basis about, named Monica, asks him to help her "move a chair" - just the two of them inside of her house. Here is what I recommend Bill to do:

• Option #1 -- Accept the offer - However, he should bring his wife Hillary to avoid any temptation or action from Monica.
   
• Option #2 -- Decline the offer - He should just decline the offer if for some reason Hillary can't make it and if Bill is too "weak" to fight the temptation between him and Monica. I'm sure Bill would feel bad about not helping her with the chair, but at least his marriage would be saved.

3. Do NOT be Self-Righteous or Full of Pride - Only God is perfect.

As Christians, we are to live by higher standards than anyone else. We are told to be perfect, just like God is (Matthew 5:48, NIV), but we are not - no matter how much we try (Romans 3:23, NIV). Because of this, many Christians get married believing that they are immune to committing such acts as adultery. Realize that you are a sinner and that you are NOT immune to committing any sin, even adultery.

4. Think Ahead of Time - Gotta love planning!

As stated above, realize immediately that you are a sinner and that there is a possibility of you committing adultery in your future. Let's do a little imagination exercise: Imagine how the act of adultery will affect your marriage and your kids (if any) ahead of time. Don't like what you see? Good. Remember how hurt you felt and how hurt your spouse and kids felt so that you do not really commit the act of adultery in the future. Again, running these types of scenarios in your head ahead of time forces you to realize how adultery can destroy your marriage in the future.

5. Wear Your Wedding Ring - Keep the predators away.

A wedding ring symbolizes your love for your spouse. It says to your spouse, "I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." However, to others it says "married person walking by, try to hit on me and you'll regret it, buddy!" It may not keep everyone away who wishes harm on your marriage, but it will help in keeping some of them away. Therefore, just wear it whenever you can.

6. Love Your Spouse Wholeheartedly - Become the ultimate love machine!

Are you loving your spouse with all of your heart? Are you following scripture (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV) when loving your spouse? Are you loving them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? If not, they may seek that love from somewhere (or someone) else and commit the act of adultery.

7. Ignore the Loss of Butterflies in Your Stomach - Love isn't just about emotions.

Remember the first time, before you were married, you looked at your spouse and thought "Wow, I really love this person"? Do you remember all of the "butterflies" that you felt in your stomach when you thought of them? Well, as you probably already know, this feeling won't last forever. And because of this, many Christians commit adultery because they no longer feel that they are in love with their spouse. It's true that love should be based somewhat off of emotions, but it should be based more so by actions (1 John 3:18, NIV). This means that when you no longer feel the "butterflies" in your stomach, just ignore it and focus on loving your spouse with your actions. After all, did Jesus love us more with emotions or with actions by dying for us on the cross? Actions, of course! Let His act of love be an example for you.

8. Spend Some Alone Time With Your Spouse - Just like a one-on-one match in basketball.

In a one-on-one match in basketball, it's just you and your opponent with your complete focus on your opponent. I bring this up because this is how your one-on-one time needs to be with your spouse - your complete focus must be on them. This gives you and your spouse the opportunity to work on any issues or problems that may need to be worked on. Also, you can use this time for you and your spouse to pray and discuss your issues or problems with God. Pray for God to give you both wisdom and to lead you both in the right direction to have a successful marriage.

9. Get Outside Advice - Nothing better than an unbiased opinion.

Do you remember the saying "there are always two sides to a story"? In regards to marriage, this means that normally during an argument one spouse has his or her view, while the other has their own view. In most cases, an outside party is the only one that can provide an unbiased view of the situation. Here is a little list of recommended outside parties:

• Marriage Counselors - This blog post may have "10 ways to prevent adultery," but professional marriage counselors probably have 110 ways to prevent adultery and many more valuable resources.
   
• Offline Christians - Get advice from fellow Christians, face-to-face, about your marriage problems. A good place to start would be at your Church or any other place that has Christian gatherings.
   
• Online Christians - You can always ask a question and get advice from a number of Christians on our online Christian community.

10. Realize that Marriage is Hard Work - Go big or go home.

Marriage is serious business. Don't get married believing that marriage is 100% like the "lovey-dovey" fairytale stories that you may see on the Disney Channel (they sometimes give people a false view of what a real marriage is like). No, marriage is also about commitment, tough times, compromise, sacrifice, arguments, and your spouse driving you so crazy you wondered why you ever married them in the first place. But you see, that's the beauty of marriage! The sooner you realize that marriage is not all "lovey-dovey" with no flaws, the sooner you are ready to defeat any thoughts of committing adultery.